“When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here’s what she said to me!” Nothing, she didn’t tell me a thing. I never asked my mother these questions. I didn’t even ask myself these questions. When I was in kindergarden I knew what I wanted to be, I wanted to be an adult. In 20 years I wanted to be a grown up that could stay up late and watch T.V. and drive, and have a boyfriend, and do whatever I wanted to do at any given time and day. Now I’m 18. I’m technically an adult and I have yet to achieve any of those things. In 20 years I don’t know where I will be. If anything I wouldn’t mind being in kindergarten again if it means nap time and no impending doom of the future hovering over my head. But I can’t turn back time just yet and honestly who wants to go through puberty all over again? I suppose though I could tell you where I wouldn’t mind being.
In 20 years I’d like to have or begin to start a family. Although I’m always back and forth with wither I want kinds or not, after running a club full or sixth graders you start to question these things. In the end I would have settled with wanting a family. I’d like a boy and a girl but either would be lovely. I’d hope that I would have a small house still in Alameda. Nothing too big just a place to call home. Even a nice apartment would do with one car big enough for the family. I’d like two dogs, a German Sheppard named Titan and a Basset Hound named Deputy and hopefully working at a school as a guidance counselor.
I’d like to have graduated from Notre Dame de Namur University. There I would have liked to study clinical psychology, human sexuality, school and family counseling, and some form of art perhaps, storyboarding, animation or art therapy.
I don’t plan an exciting life, but a simple one where I’ll worry about bills, school clothes, and my childrens grades and whither I spend enough time with them. You know, your average life as an adult where later I’d like to retire out in the country knowing I did my beast and fate is up to my children to take into their own hands.
If I was a big dreamer I’d direct my life more towards the arts where I’d continue to study and improve. I’d transfer after a year at Notre Dame to LIU where I would secure a paid internship at Marvel comics and attend classes such as “Street Art and Graffiti” and “Horror in Literature.” I would impress those at Marvel and secure myself as an artist hopefully drawing for the Deadpool comics before spinning off and making my own comic based off an idea I would have had since my Junior year in high school. I would dig up these old characters and bring them back to life. All well starting a social life and finding someone that can dork out with me and accept my negative shoulds point of view on life.
I’d spend most of my life drawing and doing what I love before finally retiring still to the country with my dogs and family at my side before dieing in some ridiculous way such as snowboarding down a snowy hill with a bear at my heals, my last words being recoded as “Destroy my laptop and bury me with it.” That’s how option two would be like, plus or minus the epic death. In 20 years however, I don’t know where I will be. I enjoy the song Swagger by Flogging Molly, it’s only words are, “I don’t know where I’m going.” and that’s why I like the song because I don’t know where I’m going in life. I don’t know what my future holds for me, if the dreams I have now will be the same ones I have later on because they've changed so much over the years. Life changes, people change, and we change. Perhaps that’s what makes it all so exciting and scary all at the same time. We have all these plans and dreams and yet we don’t know where they will take us or if we will achieve. We don’t know which path is right and sometimes the wrong path is the best path. It leads you to another discovery. In 20 years I don’t know where I’ll be and I don’t plan ahead that far. I don’t even know what I’m going to have for breakfast the next day so who’s to say I’d know 20 years down the road? But that’s what I look forward to and plan to be in 20 years. Finally discovering where I’m at in life, 20 years after I’ve written this essay.